Letter Written To Kate Middleton and Her Makeup Openly0 Comments

Posted on 27 Jul 2012 at 6:44am

Dear Duchess,

Since then you became betrothed to your beloved, we all have paid quite clear attention to your looking. We loved the white ruffled Reiss number in fashion. But beauty? Le sigh.

We have four words for you: Cher. Amber. Monet. Clueless. Get it?

You have the tendency to look flawless in full-length snapshots—but sadly the close-up headshots give away your dirty little secret: you were looking gorgeous in your blush, eyeliner.

Make correction of ourselves if we are saying wrong, but did you not take a series of makeup lessons soon after Big Willy got on bended knee? Perhaps you skipped the ‘less is more’ lecture allow us to briefly take you back to basics.

1) Lay off the liner. Heavy kohl is quite suitable on occasion like Halloween, but for the events of high gentry and official appearances, like the Epsom Derby, or Wimbledon, or the Queen’s birthday dinner, or a world-televised Royal Wedding just like your own, then this type of makeup is not appropriate.

But we digress.

If eyeliner is necessary then use it in lower tone. Toss the black pencil in way too harsh against your splendid characteristics, as is rimming (and re-rimming) your lower lash line. Opt for liquid chestnut brown instead; a thin, precise line applied at the base of your eyelashes will add subtle warmth and slight depth to your exclusive gaze. And if you are feeling sassy, flick it out a bit.

2) Do not swirl the brush in the blush more than twice. A dab on the apples of your cheeks will do just fine then you need not sweep it all the way into your hairline.

3) See number one. And number two should you have a little extra time.

While considering all things, you are a good-looking dame. You could actually forgo 90% of the slap, as it makes you look a bit dated and much older. Other than that, two thumbs up, way up. (Though you may want to rethink the shimmering flesh-tone dancer tights.)

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