Daily Shuffle: Christina Aguilera Arrested With Boyfriend0 Comments

Posted on 29 Mar 2011 at 10:49am

  • Christina Aguilera and her boyfriend were arrested in West Hollywood early this morning for being SHWASTED. (That’s shit-faced and wasted, for those of you out of the loop. The combination makes for a raging drunk not suitable for the public. It’s not scientific, it’s just a general feeling we get that determines it when someone is so drunk they have to be arrested just for being drunk. Ipso facto: shwasted.) Anywho, Aguilera was the one too drunk for public, but her boyfriend was driving drunk. Okay, have we learned nothing from ANY OTHER CELEB EVER? They’ve all carried out this common celeb fuck-up for you. DON’T DO IT. You’re famous, you can afford a freaking cab. -TMZ


  • Some source blabbed to Us Magazine, saying that James Franco and Oscar hosts Anne Hathaway “hate each other.” Well, let me unpack this one. First of all, the way to stop this “bomb” on three days late. Secondly, I think James Franco hates anyone, he too stoned to be that angry. Third, Anne Hathaway is too much for Mary Poppins to hold that much hatred for Franco. If anything he probably just looked at him as if stoned slacker little brother – and the medicine, I offer this: The guy has a million jobs and going to school a million. Of course she’d need a bit o ‘happy to help him get through the show was great and probably a sign that he is trying to do way too much. Slow down, James. We’ll still love you even if only two work. Hate? Probably not. Annoyance? Yeah, that sounds about right.


  • OBLIGATORY CHARLIE SHEEN UPDATE: This morning on The Today Show, we had the pleasure (weird awkward, cult-like experience) of meeting Charlie Sheen’s “goddesses.” One’s a “model” and the other admits to being a porn star and they take care of his children. He says they “get him” (translation: love his money) and that they work together like a family (translation: they do what he says because they love his money). And even with all this he’s so delusional that he’s denied help from his friends and family and he’s ragging on fans who voiced their concerns on Twitter. Can we all stop caring about this? Maybe that’s the key. Maybe that’s the cure. Maybe we’re so over this that we don’t even care. -Today

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